Baby Carnivore
by IceMelody
Summary: In which baby Tsuna thinks he's a carnivore. (1827 Fluffy oneshot)


Author: Ice Melody (Yuki)

Summary: In which baby Tsuna thinks he's a carnivore.

Note: Had writer's block while I was writing a chapter for 'The Boundaries of Love' so - this happened. Enjoy while you wait~

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Baby Carnivore

The moment Sawada Tsunayoshi was born, his parents were convinced he was the cutest little thing to ever set foot on earth. Even if it was still a rather unsteady step. He amazed and captured the hearts of the people around him, with his fluffy head of brown hair and impossibly big, sparkly eyes. He was soon nicknamed 'Tsu-chan', which (unsurprisingly) became his very first word. But in the course of the next few years, no matter how hard Iemitsu and Nana tried, Tsuna refused to say anything else.

"Come on, Tsu-chan. Call me _mama_."

"Tsu-chan!"

"No, no Tsuna. Say _papa_."

"…Tsu-chan?"

These conversations always ended with a bawling brunet, who didn't understand why his parents were so distressed. Tsuna was very satisfied with his vocabulary, even if it only consisted of one word. All he knew, was that everyone was always happy and bright when they called out his name. And so, that was all he needed.

At the age of four, Tsuna could be seen bumbling about as he tried to help his mother out around the house. The little brunet would diligently help his mom clean the house...by pushing everything out of sight. His toys were stuffed under his bed. Movies, books, and the remote controls lay hidden under the couch. Any stray clothing items were deposited into the kitchen drawers. The house always looked nice and organized, so Tsuna didn't understand why his parents were so against his cleaning methods. This was around the time he discovered a very useful skill. Where he had learned it, no one would know but it became his most lethal weapon.

When his parents sat him in the living room and chided him lightly about his cleaning, Tsuna looked up at them with large, round eyes that sparkled with a thin layer of tears. His pink lips formed a sad, sad pout and he hugged his favorite stuffed animal (Mr. Fluff) to his chest. Tsuna let out a little whimpering noise from his throat - sounding much like a small puppy that had just been denied its favorite toy. No one could blame his parents for crumbling under that look.

Iemitsu and Nana could only watch as Tsuna stuffed the empty pizza box into the dryer.

When Tsuna turned six, he made his first friend. Although the friendship seemed rather one sided at first. Tsuna had met the raven haired boy at the playground near his home. That day, the child learned his second word (much to the annoyance of his new friend).

"_My name is Hibari Kyoya. You can call me Hibari."_

"_Kyo-chan!"_

"_Hibari."_

"…_Kyo-chan!"_

"_Hibari!"_

"…_Tsu-chan?" _

(This later caused much confusion in the Sawada household.)

It didn't take long for Tsuna to become attached to Kyoya, following the other boy like a duckling, happily calling out his nickname and facing the resulting glares with glee. When Iemitsu asked his son who 'Kyo-chan' was, Tsuna immediately dragged the poor boy home with him.

Although reluctant at first, Kyoya became used to his daily routine with the brunet. Every morning, the two would meet at the playground to play before returning to Tsuna's house for lunch. At 3 o'clock, they could always be found curled around each other on Tsuna's bed for their afternoon nap. Iemitsu and Nana found their friendship endearing and never questioned when the two would disappear together because they were confident in Kyoya's ability to protect their precious son. Especially after they saw the child beat up a thief who had bumped into Tsuna as he was running away, causing the child to fall and scrape his knees. Kyoya only stopped when the little brunet asked for ice cream, his tummy grumbling.

During one of their outings, Kyoya discovered his favorite phrase (one people would come to fear). It happened while the two were at a library, snuggled together on a beanbag chair. A shiny book with a lifelike drawing of a dinosaur had caught his eye that day. He became fascinated by the fierce creatures. Noticing the book, Tsuna looked up at him with questioning eyes.

The raven haired boy had then turned the book towards his friend and pointed at a particularly intimidating dinosaur. Confidently, Kyoya read the single word beneath it (having always been a very smart child).

"Carnivore."

Tsuna only tilted his head in confusion, causing the other to sigh.

"_This _is a carnivore."

The brunet looked again at the picture and then, at his friend. He seemed to be deep in thought for a few seconds, before brightening up in realization. Kyoya smiled proudly down at him, thinking he had understood. But what Tsuna did next, would forever change Kyoya's life. The child pointed at the dinosaur with a chubby finger and called out excitedly, "Kyo-chan!"

(From then on, the raven haired boy proudly declared himself a 'carnivore' to anyone that would listen, willingly or not).

Tsuna then gave him an imploring look while pointing at himself. Kyoya thoughtfully scanned the boy up and down with a scrutinizing look. Petit frame, pale skin, and a ridiculously cute face. He turned back to his book and flipped to a different page.

On the page, was a picture of a small, white rabbit. It sat in the middle of a green field and looming behind it, was the shadow of a coyote.

"You're a herbivore."

At this, Tsuna pouted, apparently dissatisfied with this fact. Why was he different from Kyoya? Luckily, Kyoya seemed to understand. The child announced determinedly, "Okay, I will teach you how to be a carnivore."

He flipped through his book once more, stopping at a picture of a coyote with a rabbit hanging out of its mouth. Kyoya showed this picture to the brunet and told him, "Carnivores bite herbivores to death, like this."

Kyoya nodded to himself, liking the way that sounded. "To show that you are a carnivore, you must tell the herbivores 'I will bite you to death.', okay Tsunayoshi?"

The boy looked at Tsuna expectantly.

"I-I…" he began, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, "I-I…Tsu-chan?"

Kyoya allowed himself an out-of-character face palm.

"I. Will. Bite. You. To. Death.", he said slowly, articulating each word carefully.

"I-I will…bite? Y-you…?" the poor child seemed confused at the words coming out of his own mouth but continued when Kyoya nodded at him encouragingly. "T-to deaf."

Kyoya sighed. Nonetheless, he gave the brunet a pat on the head and told him they would work on it later.

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A few days after that incident, the two children came back home after a morning walk to find that Tsuna's house had been invaded by men in black suits. Kyoya had glared at them with much more intensity than a child his age should ever have. Holding hands, they walked carefully inside.

Kyoya led them towards the living room and quietly peeked into the room. Usually, Iemitsu and Nana would come running as soon as they heard the door open so they could fawn over their adorable son and his little friend. But today, they were immersed in a conversation with an old man. Kyoya looked to Tsuna questioningly but the younger was just as confused as he. The boy didn't really care though, because as far as he was concerned, "Old people are herbivores."

Tsuna nodded, never one to question his best friend.

And so, the two made their way upstairs for a nap. Or at least they tried to.

Tsuna, in all his clumsiness, had lost his balance (on flat ground, even) and had fallen unceremoniously onto his butt with a small thump. With their presence discovered and nowhere to escape, they were dragged into the living room by Tsuna's parents.

"Nono, meet my precious son, Tsuna!" Iemitsu gushed, squeezing the boy's chubby cheeks and causing him to sulk. He was a carnivore! Carnivores didn't get their cheeks squeezed (Kyoya had made that clear).

"And this is his friend, Kyoya!" Nana added, pushing said child forward. The two stood in front of the old man called 'Nono', one with a small pout and the other outright glaring up at him.

"Tsu-chan, be polite and say hello to Nono." His father nudged him gently. Just the day before, his parents had cornered him right after his nap (when he was at his weakest) and had tried to teach him new words. Now he understood why.

But Kyoya had _also _taught him that _"Carnivores do not listen to herbivores." _and according to Kyoya, his parents were _"…herbivores because they squeal too much."_ So instead of saying hello, Tsuna greeted Nono with the only other phrase he knew.

"I will bite you to death."

And promptly bit the man's hand.

Kyoya watched him with a proud smile.

The End

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Thanks for reading~ I will try to update on my other story as soon as I'm over my writer's block.

- Yuki


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